i'm tired..

its 2:12am.. im tired, and i don't want to write anything... yet here i am...writing shit.. really, what is the point of a blog... or twitter... or facebook for that matter... what happened to people talking to each other face to face? or at least on the phone...without texting... i write shit on here and anybody who wants to can read it and then comment about how it is or isn't great...   its like a diary for the masses... whatever...

something just broke outside because of the wind... i must investigate...   shit... it was a lantern that Misty made...  the whole planter it was on just fell over.. and i dont want to clean it up in the dark... knowing me i'll cut an artery...

i dont even want to talk about a movie... i watched Blood into Wine the other day... it was good... but i probably wouldn't have enjoyed it if Maynard wasn't part of it...  stupid Tim and Eric pretty much ruined the whole thing...

Just Friends was on TV earlier tonight... I love that movie.. i dont know why.. its kind of dumb.. but is cute and funny too.  it makes me smile.


im done

Monday, Monday...

I hate Mondays... When one is used to a four day weekend, Monday sucks... Its laundry day, and clean the hell out of the kitchen day.. and day one of the three days I'm alone for the night.  Again i say, i hate Mondays.  This weekend was good though... a lot more talking and a lot more revelations... My security in this relationship isn't 100% but its closer now.. I still feel a bit like im in limbo... but that too, is going away... it'll be better once i get my clothes back in the room and stop living out of plastic tubs in the garage...  I've got to start getting ready to go to Denver, but i dont really want to go anymore, and i dont think the car will make it... but i said id go and dad, i think, needs a distraction.. i just cant shake the feeling that i won't come home to the same awesomeness i left.. So much can happen.. so many outside influences can fuck everything up.. I just need to believe in Misty.. and i do. 

Nothing to say about movies today... maybe later..

Something, Something, Something, Dark Side.....

 Well...  the duration of the exile has been shortened to the voluntary trip to Denver... and even that has been cut short due to the need to be here to help the kiddos with their Halloween costumes... I am NOT complaining! I think Misty truly means what she tells me... She is doing so well with speaking her mind no matter what... Last night she decided she doesnt even want to move downstairs... I am 93.7% sure she is sure... and if she changes her mind...WHO CARES!! a room is a room is a room.. as long as we're together.. She also mentioned getting different furnature for the living room... and i think thats an awesome idea... My grandmas things are nice....for my grammas formal living room... but they dont really belong in here... i think it'll be a blast to find some rustic ol' p.o.s. coffee table at a yard sale or something and fix it up... end tables too... then we just need to do something about this fancy schmancy computer desk... but all that is small shit.. I think... no, i believe that we are gonna be great.. as long as we can keep talking and keep heading for the same goal...

Last night I watched Contact... the movie is slow. Im not saying its bad... but its so slow..  and the ending is somewhat disappointing...  oooh we get to see Vegans....ohhhh its just her stupid dad... LAME.. i know its metaphorical, and basically it was an hallucination fitted to her human mind... but i guess i just prefer movies from the school of rubber suits... and then there was the religious argument running through the whole movie... having the beliefs i have, i tend to agree with the notion that science has shown us that there is no god... but it may be that I've just been put off of the god thing by all the evangelical right wing nut jobs who take the bible as literal truth and "know" i will burn in hell for whom i choose to love... and how i choose to live my life... hmmmm i know of a few evangelicals (Haggard) who will be joining me in the pits of homo hell.... plus, when i was 5, I went to Calvary Chapel with my cousin and the lady in the nursery told us that there was no Santa Clause and that the only reason any kid got presents on Christmas was because 'Jesus' gave our parents money to do it... if our parents didn't have faith in Jeeeeeeaaazzzuusssss, they were poor bums.... yep... Paganism looks better and better every day! 

Mabon

lets see... its gorgeous outside, the patio and grill are clean, and i am loved... i cant think of a better way for a holiday to be...  Misty's mom is here... sulking in the kitchen... there isn't really a better word for it.  i haven't the slightest clue what she wants or why shes still here... and i know she wouldn't tell me so... whatever... that woman cant get me down anymore... i know all the bad things she says about me but i also know Misty is thru taking her at her word... i know Misty is able to form her own opinion... and right now its that she loves me!!!  That woman (her mother) is just incapable of keeping her nose out of anything... and incapable of of making HERSELF happy... Jesus!!! stay out of it lady!!! but again... not gonna get to me...EVER AGAIN!

what movie to talk about today? ummmmmm...   I watched Braveheart this morning.. I love that movie... it helps to pretend the guy who plays William Wallace isn't the misogynistic Jew hating bastard he is... the movie, itself makes me happy... its long and the music is wonderful, and the ending isn't candy coated... but even though William Wallace got stretched and disemboweled in epic fashion, the king got what he deserved too... his daughter in law was knocked up by Wallace so the air to the throne is actually a Scott!  plus it couldn't have been easy for long-shanks to have a son who was light in his loafers... ahhhh good times..

I wonder....

I wonder why the commercial about the automatic soap pump bothers me so much... it goes on about how its so awful to have a dirty soap pump... but why... even if the pump is disgusting why does it matter... you only touch it before you wash your hands.. and then you are washing off the grossness that was the reason for the hand-washing PLUS the grossness from the pump... and then you dont touch it  until its time to wash again... its kind of insulting...

i wonder why in 'Avatar' they called the mineral shit they are mining on Pandora "unobtainium" its the dumbest name ever..  they seem to be 'obtaining' it just fine... was there a lack of imagination the day they got to that part of the script

i wonder why the Decepticons didn't just buy Sam Witwickys glasses off of ebay... they had to have known they were there... they could hack into any computer...  but then the movie wouldn't have been as long or as super cool....

i wonder why i enjoy 'The Squidbillies' so much...

i just wonder....

Wednesday...

its been raining off and on today... that's something good... things seem to be good all around.  its nice to feel a little more worthwhile and appreciated.  and loved back. 

The other night we watched "The Mist"  of course I've seen it many times but the ending still bothers me.. the poor guy shoots everyone in the damn car including his little son, and then doesn't have a bullet left for himself... on top of that, a few seconds after this mass mercy killing, the mist starts to clear and here come the army people to the rescue.. . how is this guy supposed to live with himself.. i wouldn't be able to.  yeah, its Stephen King... but that ending sticks... sometimes when i watch that movie i just turn it off before it ends...  It makes you ponder things best left un-pondered... could you do what that guy did? could you live with the guilt afterward or would it drive you mad..? The Mist has a Lovecraftian feel to it.. with the dementional rifts and whatnot, but really the creatures in the mist aren't murderous... they are just doing what they do... what they do, however isn't really compatible with the life on our plane of existence.. and really, that's the scary part. 

Number one... lets see what happens

just a test really... to see if i've done everything right..