i know now why people drink... that path is looking better everyday. if i could just figure out how to avoid all the peeing and the hangovers i could TOTALLY drink my cares away... i can's seem to let go of a few things and they are taking over more and more of my thoughts.. i haven't hated anyone in ages.. i don't like to hate... but i do... i hate.. i don't even 'hate' my grrrls mother... that's more of a strong dislike and pity... i feel myself wanting to shut down and hide in my head like i do... but i cant do that anymore.. it wold not be conducive to what i want with my family and my baby... but this is getting ridiculous.. and obsessive.. how could the hated person do this to me... i was never anything but there for them.. when there was whining about the bromance that fell apart...i was there.. when there was whining about the couple he was having a threesome with who wanted him to move to Vegas with them...{however that may have been one of his many LIES... he is a fabulous LIAR} who did he cry to and who listened to every sordid detail... I listened to this asshole bitch and moan about how his "dad" has this hold over him but yet he never did a thing to change it.. i risked my own relationship trying to be there for him and that doesn't even include the mistake[s] i eventually made... and all the while, if i needed him to be there for me it never happened.. all he wanted to talk about was my wife.. or more of his issues... or how it was an issue that my wife was out of bounds... 20 fucking years... and then boom... he got EXACTLY what he wanted. and I'm left to pick up the pieces of my relationship and try to get over the loss of a 'friend'... but how much of a friend was he... i don't know anymore... all i know is the pain runs deeper than i thought pain could go... the two people i thought i could trust.... not so much..
Things are getting back to good with my grrrl in leaps and bounds.. lets not leave that out.. and she is being patient with my issues.. well, she better be as i have been privy to some stellar breakdowns recently...lol things with her are on the mend or already mended... and i love her and trust her more than she thinks.. and we are in a bubble unlike any bubble that has been... this shit is made of Kevlar, yo! if i could just let go... let go of all the hurt and questions and doubts and just...let...go... that is my new goal...
So... In "Gremlins".... you can't feed them after midnight... well, its always midnight somewhere... and every minute of the day after 12:00am is "after midnight" so when the hell are you allowed to feed them again? WTF...
In "Avatar"..... Michelle Rodriguez's character refuses to attack that time... but then she doesn't get in trouble later.. she is able to go around the base and rescue Sully and apparently has time to paint up her chopper and junk for the big fight later... i don't know much about the military but i would assume she would be in big trouble....?
How did Andy Dufresne re-stick the poster back to his wall from inside the hole???
that's enough for today... the neighbors are driving me fucking crazy with their la cucaracha music blaring...
psst.... i love you
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